Thanks to the terrible heat in Chennai I got meself a boil in a very cozy and comfortable place where the sun doesn’t shine. It was just the size of a mustard a week ago...and there was a small pus point. Being a know-it-all, I pricked it with a sterile needle and let out the drop of pus....but then it got bigger by the day and today it’s the size of a half cut orange. So what happens when I walk? It rubs against my left thigh and is excruciatingly painful. And only God can help me when I put my right leg across to sit myself on the bike...(yea, I say something like: Shiva, Shiva, Shiva) and I have to tilt my butt to the left so that I can manage to hang on but then when I go over a pot hole its like I want to shout out to the whole world: @#$@#^@&#@ You'd ask why the fuck would I want to ride a two wheeler when its all damaged down there...but then I don’t have the luxury of staying at home and calling in sick....rain or sunshine, I have to attend the calls...go out to work.

Last night things got worse and the abscess began to leak...mostly blood...bad blood...and it seemed to leak by the litres....got my lungi stained...the new yellow bedspread stained and what not! I woke up wifey saying that its hurting very badly....she searched around for some sterile dressing pads but since we aint surgeons, we didn’t have them at home...so with a quick presence of mind she does something innovative. She went over to my SIL's (she stays with us) cupboard and came back with a sanitary pad and placed it down there and plastered it in place...ah man...the relief while walking!

The pad ensures that the abscess doesn’t rub against my left thigh and the pain is far better. Seating myself on the two wheeler is still some bit of a hassle...but then I can live with it. And yea it’s easy....comfier, more absorbent and thinner than a surgical dressing pad and easy to secure with an adhesive tape....a medical dressing would be too bulky and stick out and hinder walking....and I don’t want peeps to think that I have huge prolapsed haemorrhoids. It’s ok if they think that I have a hydrocoele.

So, one can borrow only one pad from another girl. If you want more pads what does a man do? He goes to the store and buys himself a pack of sanitary pads! And there I am in the midst of rows and rows of that stuff and I cant decide what to buy...finally I bought myself a pack of Whisper Ultra...a pack of 8s...and walked home with that silly haemorrhoidal gait. But, if anyone is laughing, man, I should tell you this is one fucking humbling experience...having a sanitary pad down there makes me lose my sanity....and the poor dames go through this every month!

If you are curious to know how many pads I've soaked since last night.....please don’t ask me....I am already going through hell! If at all you guys can do anything to help.....you could courier me a few more packs...looks like I'll need a lot of them. And, before anyone has any doubts.....NO, I haven't got impotent.


Amen
d_w